Hope
My sleeping patterns have reverted to their norms. late nights, silence and thus increased clarity. about many things and sometimes about nothing at all.
tonight, i just finished watching a documentary about women that has led me into quite a deep reflection of the relationships i have with the women in my life. i found myself subconsciously avoiding thoughts of those of blood relations in particular, as though resigned to fate, throwing in the towel and being thrown into record speeds of escapism and denial. all together now.
reassessing the archive of experiences i have had so far, i can only live in the hope that time would tell, and presumably heal all wounds when due.
time has already spoken with regards to my accommodation dilemma. i have been half packed and ready to go for more than a month now, on what seemed to be never ending quests that could only progress as fast as my legs could manage. i have typical Victorian terrace floor plans etched like a wallpaper in my head. intricate, at times impractical, but always full of 'room' for improvement. what i meant to say at the second sentence of this paragraph, was that i needn't move anymore. I needn't wonder about how to make a wardrobe work in a room that is only big enough for my bed frame. needn't worry about storage, nor when i could get more boxes, nor logistics, nor bonds, nor trying to bribe my way into a tenancy by offering a few months of rent up front. I would however want to satisfy my curiosity and attend an open auction since i should look into the math of using this cash towards a mortgage. same difference since i already feel like i have been engaged to this country for half a year now. half a year due to an inefficient immigration process and system, but of course.
rant rant but hope. hope because while folding paper tulips and preparing for that exhibition at the end of the month i have met amazing people, had time to do that while house hunting, attended fantastic parties, found a new local that is a tap house, fell in love with a weizenbier that has got undertones of banana, cooked for a few friends tonight... met new neighbours who helped me pry my letterbox to get to my house keys, not gotten locked out after mardi gras due to that, had the luxury of time to think, reflect, refocus. how this is planned out i am never sure, but i know it will work soon because unlike those who have hope in faith, i have faith in hope.
tonight, i just finished watching a documentary about women that has led me into quite a deep reflection of the relationships i have with the women in my life. i found myself subconsciously avoiding thoughts of those of blood relations in particular, as though resigned to fate, throwing in the towel and being thrown into record speeds of escapism and denial. all together now.
reassessing the archive of experiences i have had so far, i can only live in the hope that time would tell, and presumably heal all wounds when due.
time has already spoken with regards to my accommodation dilemma. i have been half packed and ready to go for more than a month now, on what seemed to be never ending quests that could only progress as fast as my legs could manage. i have typical Victorian terrace floor plans etched like a wallpaper in my head. intricate, at times impractical, but always full of 'room' for improvement. what i meant to say at the second sentence of this paragraph, was that i needn't move anymore. I needn't wonder about how to make a wardrobe work in a room that is only big enough for my bed frame. needn't worry about storage, nor when i could get more boxes, nor logistics, nor bonds, nor trying to bribe my way into a tenancy by offering a few months of rent up front. I would however want to satisfy my curiosity and attend an open auction since i should look into the math of using this cash towards a mortgage. same difference since i already feel like i have been engaged to this country for half a year now. half a year due to an inefficient immigration process and system, but of course.
rant rant but hope. hope because while folding paper tulips and preparing for that exhibition at the end of the month i have met amazing people, had time to do that while house hunting, attended fantastic parties, found a new local that is a tap house, fell in love with a weizenbier that has got undertones of banana, cooked for a few friends tonight... met new neighbours who helped me pry my letterbox to get to my house keys, not gotten locked out after mardi gras due to that, had the luxury of time to think, reflect, refocus. how this is planned out i am never sure, but i know it will work soon because unlike those who have hope in faith, i have faith in hope.
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on Wednesday, March 11, 2009 at 1:52 AM.
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Byam being sent to the tribunal for hearing with regards to my housing situation. really ALOT of things to learn yo. bah
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